Deep thoughts.....

I can't seem to find an entire topic to talk about today, so I'll just write about some of the things that have crossed my mind since we last spoke.

Now--my mind is a big place to get lost in. Medication hasn't changed the frequency at which this happens, either. And when I DO get lost in there, I'm not responsible for what I think.

For some reason, running errands doesn't do much to make me want to take responsibility for what I think.

All that being said--here you go, folks. Some of the things that have sprung--uninvited--into my head the past couple of days. Although they're uninvited, I'm always glad they showed up. Usually they make me laugh out loud, and that makes the people around you wonder what you're up to.......and what girl doesn't want to seem mysterious?

--'Do you want a piece of me?!'--yikes. Talk about your loaded questions.

--I always promised myself I would never tell my kids 'I'll give you something to cry about.' Now--in modern times, that statement is the equivalent of 'I got your ass-whoopin' right here,' which is decidedly more funny. (On the other hand, had my Mom phrased it in the modern terminology, I probably would have laughed out loud--and then she would have given me something to cry about....reverting back to their terminology here, because it wouldn't have been funny.) But, I digress. Would I be reneging on that promise to myself if I said it to the kid behind me in line at the grocery store? Because I had his ass-whoopin' right there.

--If you call my house after a certain time, someone had better be dying or dead. Because if they're not--they will be soon. Can I get an 'Amen'?? Now--praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. (Okay, I will show mercy if gushing blood and/or projectile vomiting is involved--as long as you're gushing blood and/or projectile vomiting for a reason other than public--or private--intoxication.)

--Would you really trust the results of a pregnancy test you bought at the Dollar Tree? And if your answer to that question was 'yes'--I'll see you on the next episode of 'I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant.'

--Walmart might take alot of shit for alot of reasons--but I've got to hand it to them this time: I saw a BRILLIANT marketing strategy in there today. A display over in the Health and Beauty section of KY's latest slick idea ('slick' being the operative word.) And--above the display, Walmart's gratuitous "WOW!" sign. Now--what, you may ask, is the brilliance of this? And it is this: just across the aisle from this was the paraphernalia you've no doubt seen advertised of late--parents bum rushing Walmart to get the things their precious darlings what they will need for their dorm room. I was suddenly visited with a vision of a soon-to-be college freshman slipping some of this down amongst the comforters and bath towels (how appropriate.) While I'm relatively sure that KY isn't on the supply list for Anatomy and Physiology class, it couldn't hurt (and according to the makers of KY--it won't!!) The 'WOW' above the display made the idea that much more amusing.....although, I don't think the 'WOW' comes until after the purchase. I think it comes somewhere just before the users start calling upon the name of the Lord--and not so that they will be saved from damnation--rather, so they will not get one of His smallest blessings from Heaven--an arrival that will dovetail nicely with final exams. (And yeah--they might also invoke Him in praise to KY....) I'm going to Hell.